What positive emotion do you feel most often?
If I’m honest, the positive emotion I feel most often isn’t joy or excitement, it’s love. Not the kind I’ve ever had, but the kind I’ve always been reaching for. The love that has never found me.
It’s that fluttering feeling in my chest, the tingling that rises from my toes all the way up to my heart. It’s the hopeless romantic in me, seeing love everywhere, in a laugh, a glance, a quiet moment that feels almost sacred. It’s in the fleeting butterflies that appear when something feels just right, or when I imagine the life I’ve always wanted but never held.
It’s strange to call it purely positive, because it’s tinged with longing. But this love, even unreceived, reminds me that I’m capable of feeling deeply. That I want deeply. That my heart, though cautious and bruised, is still alive.
So yes, love. Not the easy kind, not the given kind, but the kind that makes my body ache with hope, the kind that keeps me searching, dreaming, and believing. Somehow, that’s enough to keep me going.
And yes, sometimes it also makes me cry at adverts, laugh at the most ridiculous things, and daydream so hard I almost forget where I am. But honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Lottie x
Thirty Something Plus VAT 
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