Sobriety: The Unexpected Start to Reclaiming My Life

I had a moment this week.

One of those quiet moments where something just clicks without fanfare.

I realised I’m no longer counting sober days.

No more crosses on the calendar. No big announcements. No apps clocking milestones. Just…life. Sober, ordinary and mine.

The last mark on the calendar was back in 2023, when I broke a year long streak. I gave in, not to the booze itself, but to the pressure.

My sobriety isn’t a simple story. It’s messy and deeply personal. It didn’t just happen, it was a choice, one that saved me more times than I can count.

To be completely honest, my relationship with alcohol began long before adulthood. I started drinking seriously at 15, the same year I met my abuser. For me, alcohol wasn’t just part of the weekend ritual. It was an escape, a way to survive a reality that no teenager should have to face. It numbed pain I couldn’t put into words and blurred the lines of a childhood stolen too soon.

But as I grew older, I kept drinking not just out of trauma but because it was “normal.” Because everyone around me did it. Because the world says you’re boring if you don’t join in. I drank not just to escape but because it was expected, Friday nights in the pub, beers whilst watching the footy, wine with friends. It wasn’t glamorous, it was just routine.

But that routine became a trap.

Alcohol dulled my mind and emotions. It was a fog that stopped me from truly seeing my life, my pain, my toxicity, and my exhaustion. I made decisions I’d regret sober, yet I kept reaching out for it every weekend, like it was my friend when it was really my enemy.

For years, the idea of quitting never entered my mind, because I never thought there was a problem.  I feared losing the familiar, the social bonds, even though I knew they were toxic. I wondered who I’d be without it and whether I could face the pain that alcohol helped me hide.

But slowly, the cracks began to show. The exhaustion became unbearable. The fog thickened. I realised I wasn’t living, I was surviving. And survival just wasn’t enough anymore. 

Sobriety wasn’t a sudden switch but a process, a series of small, difficult decisions to say no to the drink and yes to myself. Each weekend without alcohol was a victory over the past and a step towards healing.

Since quitting, I’ve faced the shadows of my past. I’ve learned to sit with my feelings, grieve the losses, and rebuild myself, piece by piece.

Sobriety isn’t perfect or easy. It’s a daily commitment. But it’s the anchor that keeps me grounded. It’s the choice to take back control and say, this is my life, and I will not let it slip away.

For me, giving up alcohol wasn’t just quitting a habit. It was reclaiming a stolen childhood and choosing to live fully, no matter how hard it gets.

Lottie x