If I Could Change One Thing… It’d Be the Volume of My Own Self-Doubt

What is one thing you would change about yourself? If I could change one thing about myself, I’d love to stop assuming I’m the bloody problem in every room I walk into. Honestly, it’s exhausting. I could breathe wrong and immediately think, “Well done, you’ve ruined the vibe again. Somewhere a group chat is forming.” […]

The Kind of Love That Stays

Not loud, not perfect, but completely unforgettable. Love isn’t always obvious. It doesn’t always arrive with grand gestures or fireworks. Sometimes, the love that leaves the deepest mark is quiet, and unexpected, the kind that stays with you long after the moment has passed. We grow up thinking love is simple. That it’s just boy […]

Feeling Love Every Day, Even When It’s Only in My Heart

What positive emotion do you feel most often? If I’m honest, the positive emotion I feel most often isn’t joy or excitement, it’s love. Not the kind I’ve ever had, but the kind I’ve always been reaching for. The love that has never found me. It’s that fluttering feeling in my chest, the tingling that […]

Looking Forward, Finally.

What are you most excited about for the future? It’s not about chasing some picture perfect life anymore. It’s knowing that I’m finally moving away from the things that used to keep me stuck, old patterns, old habits, the quiet ways I used to betray myself just to feel safe or accepted. I’m excited to […]

Music is my therapist. My escape. My main character moment.

What is your favorite genre of music? Might sound cliché, but music’s basically my therapist. No appointments, no awkward eye contact, just a steady companion that doesn’t judge me for crying in the car or dancing like an unmedicated lunatic while hoovering. It’s always on. When I’m working, cooking, showering, gardening, or trying to pretend […]

What’s My Definition of Romantic? Not This Crap, for a Start.

What’s your definition of romantic? It’s not a man holding up a fish. It’s not a topless mirror selfie with “just ask” or “fill in later” in the bio. And it’s definitely not the bare minimum dressed up as emotional depth. I don’t remember participating in a national poll where we all agreed carp was […]

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No Structure, No Filters, No Clue

Welcome to “Thirty Something (Plus VAT)“ Before we dive in, let’s get one thing straight — this blog isn’t here to give you the secret formula to healing, 10 steps to a better life, or any other neatly packaged nonsense. I’m not your guru, there’s no life coach certificate framed on the wall, I’m just […]

Anthony: The boy, the myth, the Lynx Africa.

Write about your first crush. Let’s get one thing straight here, I don’t actually remember my real first crush. Not properly. Which says a lot. Either it was tragically uneventful, or my brain binned it along with my shell suit and any dignity I had between the ages of 11 and 17. But for the […]

The Empty Chairs in the Garden

I walked around her garden earlier. All the flowers were in full bloom, like they hadn’t got the memo. Petals open wide, bright and defiant, like they were still waiting for someone to sit among them and admire the view. But the chairs were empty. No laughter. No tea in mismatched mugs. No stories being […]

Behind The Smile: The Quiet Struggle Of Healing.

What we show the world isn’t always the truth we live with. There are days when healing feels like freedom. Like a clear breath. Like moving forward. And then there are days like this – quiet, heavy, and tearful, where I feel like I’m barely holding it together. You won’t always see these days. Online, […]