Why Did Nobody Warn Me About Chin Hairs

You know what they don’t tell you when you’re growing up? That one day you’ll wake up and find a rogue chin hair thick enough to tow a small car. They prepare you for puberty, sure — although in my case, I have school to thank for that. My family didn’t talk about things like […]

Just Give Me Back My F****** Bikini

Look, I didn’t ask for much. All I wanted was a cute little bikini and shorts set for my holiday. I found one on Shein, and there were only 10 left. TEN. So instead of playing basket Tetris to hit the free delivery minimum like a normal person, I just paid the full whack for […]

🐝 Waspageddon: The Red-Faced Showdown

Been up since 3am, thanks to biblical thunder and the kind of thoughts that make you wonder if you left the oven on in 2017. By 9am, I’d decided today was the day. Final run of the Nike challenge — 5K. Doable. Not Everest. Trainers on, sports bra locked down, vest filled with water like […]

Just Eat Reviews And The Search For Validation

Because nothing says “you matter” like a stranger also getting shafted over spring rolls. Let me just say this: I haven’t had a takeaway in two years. Not out of health, money, or self-restraint — no, no. It’s because I’ve had one too many emotional breakdowns over a cold chow mein and an order that […]

The Battle Of The Bingo Wings: A Tragicomedy In Sleeveless Acts

When Your Arms Get More Attention Than Your Personality It starts innocently enough. You’re standing there, mid-conversation, maybe making a point with a bit of passionate hand-flapping — and then it happens. The flap after the flap. The encore you didn’t ask for. The bingo wing. We don’t talk about them enough, probably because they’ve […]

Wherever You Put Me, I’ll Find The Edge

Corner-hugging, coat-clutching, and most comfortable with the breeze by the exit. Photo by p – on Unsplash You know the type. The ones who shuffle into any social event like they’re sneaking into a crime scene. The corner huggers. The people who hold onto their coats because putting them down would mean committing to staying. […]