What’s My Definition of Romantic? Not This Crap, for a Start.

What’s your definition of romantic? It’s not a man holding up a fish. It’s not a topless mirror selfie with “just ask” or “fill in later” in the bio. And it’s definitely not the bare minimum dressed up as emotional depth. I don’t remember participating in a national poll where we all agreed carp was […]

Gratitude Without The Glitter

How do you express your gratitude? I don’t light candles to thank the universe. I’m into the universe, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think it needs constant applause. I don’t do affirmations. And I definitely don’t whisper sweet nothings to my dinner before eating it. You know what I do? I say thanks […]

Compression Suits and Pee Funnels: What Could Go Wrong?

If you read Sunday’s daily prompt, you’ll already be buckled in and waiting for this story. If you didn’t — well, first of all, where were you? And second, you can catch up here before diving into this absolute mess of a moment, starring me, a pee funnel, and a very unfortunate car seat. So there I […]

Surgery Was The Easy Bit

Have you ever had surgery? What for? I have. The surgery bit was fine. The recovery? Not so much. Let’s just say it involved a car, a questionable gadget from Amazon, and a moment that still haunts me whenever I see an empty bottle. I’ll tell the full story soon. It deserves its own spotlight […]

Was Bunking Off History Class a Historical Act?

Who is your favorite historical figure? If you’re here for a thoughtful tribute to a powerful historical figure… I’m afraid I’ve let the team down. Again. Just like I did every Thursday morning in Year 9 when I ‘accidentally’ forgot my history book and spent the lesson trying to fashion a pillow out of my […]

Anthony: The boy, the myth, the Lynx Africa.

Write about your first crush. Let’s get one thing straight here, I don’t actually remember my real first crush. Not properly. Which says a lot. Either it was tragically uneventful, or my brain binned it along with my shell suit and any dignity I had between the ages of 11 and 17. But for the […]

Why Did Nobody Warn Me About Chin Hairs

You know what they don’t tell you when you’re growing up? That one day you’ll wake up and find a rogue chin hair thick enough to tow a small car. They prepare you for puberty, sure — although in my case, I have school to thank for that. My family didn’t talk about things like […]

Just Give Me Back My F****** Bikini

Look, I didn’t ask for much. All I wanted was a cute little bikini and shorts set for my holiday. I found one on Shein, and there were only 10 left. TEN. So instead of playing basket Tetris to hit the free delivery minimum like a normal person, I just paid the full whack for […]

🐝 Waspageddon: The Red-Faced Showdown

Been up since 3am, thanks to biblical thunder and the kind of thoughts that make you wonder if you left the oven on in 2017. By 9am, I’d decided today was the day. Final run of the Nike challenge — 5K. Doable. Not Everest. Trainers on, sports bra locked down, vest filled with water like […]

Just Eat Reviews And The Search For Validation

Because nothing says “you matter” like a stranger also getting shafted over spring rolls. Let me just say this: I haven’t had a takeaway in two years. Not out of health, money, or self-restraint — no, no. It’s because I’ve had one too many emotional breakdowns over a cold chow mein and an order that […]