What are you most worried about for the future?
Honestly? That I’ll spend the next 40 years exactly like the last 40, shrinking myself to fit into spaces that were never made for me.
That I’ll never get out of the 9–5 grind, selling my soul in exchange for a wage that lines someone else’s pockets while my dreams gather dust in a ‘maybe one day’ drawer.
That emotional neglect isn’t just something I experienced, but something that rewired me. That no matter how hard I try, I’m stuck with this blueprint of being unseen, unheard, and never quite enough.
That I’ll never find love again, not the kind that feels like safety and belly laughs, but more of the same masked charm and narcissistic behaviour that I’ve been trained to tolerate.
And yeah, sometimes I worry that dreaming is pointless. That life doesn’t reward hope, just hustle. And that maybe, I’m already too late.
But none of that is going to stop me. I’m still trying to build the life I know that I deserve, and that is all I can do, because I’m the only one able to make my dreams a reality.
I’ll never stop hoping for more.
Lottie x
Thirty Something Plus VAT 